"From the beginning, we emerge into awareness within a web of human connections that unceasingly engage us until death." ~ James Hillman
"The key to your heart lies hidden in the heart of another." ~ Swami Kripalu
"There are no chance encounters – all relationships are spiritual assignments." ~ Gabrielle Bernstein
Life is profoundly relational. We are all interconnected, whether we are aware of it or not, and we are wired for connection. Relationships can bring out the best in people. Yet most of us have faced challenges at one time or another in relationships, and some relationships are difficult. In relational coaching, the overarching goals are relationship fulfillment and success. We work together to promote:
• lasting, successful, trusting relationships
• meaningful, supportive relationships
• relationships with genuine connections that enhance understanding, love and fulfillment
• relationships that uplift and inspire
In relational coaching, we assume that you are whole and healthy, but facing certain challenges where you would like professional support to see or do things differently. We converse as equals, focusing on solving problems, overcoming obstacles, making choices, and your personal and relationship goals. I also work as a support and mirror for what you value and desire, and a sounding board for what you'd like to do and decide next, rather than from a perspective of knowing what could or would be best for you. Relational coaching can focus on your outlook on relationships in general (e.g., limitations and difficulties being with others or relating to them), familial relationships, intimate partnerships, friendships or even business relationships. Together, we support your understanding and investment in your relationships.
Relational coaching can help you build trust, communicate effectively and honestly, build and establish healthy boundaries, practice vulnerability, heal, release destructive or unhealthy relationships, identify and release limiting beliefs, understand your attachment style and early developmental experiences in relationships (and how this impacts you today), and uplevel relationships. Again, this could be with members of our family of origin (including with parents, siblings, or grandparents); with our children or grandchildren; with exes, co-parents, or in blended families; in new (dating), pre-committed, pre-marital, and committed couples; in meeting new people and developing friendships; with long-term friends; with roommates; or in collegial and work relationships. Relational coaching can support those who prefer to remain single, desire a lasting primary relationship, prefer an alternative lifestyle, or are moving into a changing sexual-, gender-, or relational-identity (e.g., a shift from monogamy to polyamory or vice versa). We may consider assumptions, misperceptions, communication problems, lifestyle choices, judgments or ways of handling (or avoiding) conflict. We may look at skills, strategies, and tools in one or multiple relationships. As relevant, we may consider the effect of past or current abuse and trauma on relationships. Relational coaching can also support a relationship as it changes, for example when a parent-child relationship evolves as the child becomes an adult. It can also support those who are widowed or have lost another important relationship to death, divorce or a failed relationship, moves, or other reasons. Relationships can be profoundly transformational and influential in our lives (for better or worse). Our biggest wounds most likely arose in relationships, yet profound healing while safe, loved, and accepted also can occur in relationships where one authentically meets and sees the other, and they us. In this sense, relationships can be seen as spiritual assignments – repeating issues and patterns until we heal them, opening our hearts, uncovering who we are, discovering our true nature and connecting deeply to others. Relational coaching focuses on helping us get along with one another (even if it is best in certain cases to part ways), and identify, nurture and build strong, authentic, loving, and supportive relationships.
Citrinī Nata Devi, PhD, E-RYT(500), C-IAYT, CCTP
Citrinī is passionate about improving relationships and fostering genuine connections. She has years of experience working with those with interpersonal or familial concerns, and the LGBTQIA+ population. She enjoys working with adults, young adults, children and adolescents, families, and couples. She has worked for over 15 years as a psychologist in private practice, working in hospital, partial, university counseling and community health settings before that. Citrinī received her doctorate in Clinical Psychology from DePaul University in 2004, where she specialized in child, adolescent, and family therapy. She is a Clinical Certified Trauma Professional. She is also a native (bilingual and bicultural) French speaker, and happy to provide services in French.
Citrinī works with Maya, a mini-labradoodle who assists her in validating clients feelings, providing fun diversions at times and needed cuddles at other times, and holding a space for healing, acceptance, and love.
Please note: relational coaching is not psychotherapy and not a substitute for psychological or psychiatric care for emotional or mental disorders. Although Citrinī is trained and has worked for many years as a psychologist and a clinical certified trauma professional, these relational coaching services neither qualify nor can be billed as traditional outpatient psychotherapy.